21 Points to Glory

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Through Matt Forney, I’ve started reading both Danger and Play and Sploosh, two of the few additions to my blog reading during my indefinite blog reading hiatus. Mike Danger referenced Sploosh’s 21 Points to Glory list. I like it. I’m going to borrow it, with some modifications.

1. Up by 0530 on week days. Victor Pride says 0500, Sploosh has 0600, but I didn’t split the difference — 0530 works best with my schedule. On weekends I’ll relax it to 0600.

2. Sleep Mask — Every Night. I have been diagnosed with Sleep Apnea. Unless and until the weight loss and getting into shape fixes it, this mask is the difference between a depressed zombie and a beast.

3. Juicing — At the very least, Beet/Tomato/Celery/Carrot/Lemon.

4. Intermittent Fasting — I’ve been doing this lately, and intend to keep on.

5. Supplements — get back on them, and sort out which ones are best for me and my diet (as in, “what I eat” not “some stupid meal plan I won’t follow”).

6. Knee Work, every day — get my knee back, so I can replace this with a real exercise program.

7. Body Weight Exercises — until I can do real weight training with my knee, do the Nerd Fitness body weight workout.

8. Caffeine Regimen — Not giving up my coffee or tea, but I need to stick to it as part of a ritual. Coffee (black with cayenne pepper, plain cocoa powder, and unsweetened tea) in the AM, a cup of Earl Grey (hot, of course) before lunch, and green tea in the afternoon. Tea is full of antioxidants and also having that ritual is very calming.

9. Meditate — I don’t mean sit there and say “ohm” over and over. But close my eyes, shut off all distractions, and just breathe, hold, release for ten minutes. Thinking about nothing. This also has a relaxing effect. I am full of rage and anger and need all the help I can get.

10. No Porn/Hussies/’Bating — Before I was married I had a porn problem. A few months back on Twitter I got caught up flirting/etc with women in a way that was destructive to myself — it turned into a sort of addiction, where I got a dopamine hit from it. Some of them were world class, hall of fame attention whores (and one was a first ballot worthy one). I got caught up in the kind of shit I made fun of other guys for doing, because of everything else going on. I walked away from Twitter and haven’t felt better in a long time. The last one is just because, well, to quote Married Man Sex Life — “in her or on her.”

11. No S — I used to do the No S Diet. When I did, I was losing weight. No Snacks, No Seconds, No Sweets, Except Sometimes on Days that Start with S. Combined with IF above, this should help me kill the weight.

12. Write, Every Day — 2000 words a day during the week, 5000 on weekends (A DAY). E-mails don’t count. Texts don’t count. Tweets, if I ever go back, don’t count. Outlines don’t count. Blog posts or fiction. The end.

13. Slack — from the Church of the Sub Genius. Everyone needs Slack, and anyone who says otherwise is a filthy Pink.

14. 3 quarterly goals, working toward them — And “getting all 21” can’t be a goal. Something that isn’t on here. Make them, hit them.

15. Walk, including with the dog. Before the knee surgery I walked the dog every day without fail and had for months. It broke my heart having to break that schedule.

16. Talk to Myself, Talk to God — And the two are separate, despite what the women in my life think. Be it writing in my personal journal or just talking a situation over in my head, taking a few minutes out of my day to figure myself out makes for a happier, stronger Jack Bauer of Assholes. As for God, yeah, I’ve got to sort this one out. It’s been a while. (If you don’t believe in God, fine — don’t feel the need to proselytize me, and I won’t try it with you. Thanks.)

17. Read, 30 minutes — blogs don’t count, text in video games don’t count. E-mails don’t count — it has to be a book.

18. Cold Showers — Left this one off at first, but I feel invigorated when I do this one.

19. Sex — if I need to explain this one to you, You Are Not In My Tribe.

20. Every Month Lent — self control is the way to freedom. This month I’m giving up sweets, tobacco, and alcohol. Of course, I didn’t start until today for sweets, and yesterday for alcohol. I had my last smoke Saturday. I’m going to do a full 30 days of each, and I’m going to start a new one on September 1st.

21. Walk, stand, project like a BOSS — no slouching, no walking like a decrepit old man. Strut, hustle, stand up straight and tell the world to Suck. My. Balls.

I’m going to have to ramp up to some of these, so Monday is the official start date on some of them. Sunday I plan on posting my goals, and every day after that my progress.

Update (0627 the next day): Combined the Talk to self/Talk to God to add in one I left off — cold showers.