Game of Morons

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Everyone on this show is retarded

A follow up to yesterday, for a bit of humor:

Stark Morons: Ned Stark is a moron for how he handled the revelation that Joffrey was not the legitimate heir. He confronted Cersei, he didn’t go with Renly’s plan, and he left himself exposed. Because of this: he died, his wife died, his eldest son died, and possibly more members of his family will have died. Also, the entire War of the Five Kings thing. Ned was too noble, and also probably the biggest idiot on the show.

Cat Stark was a moron for promising Robb to the Freys without talking to him. Cat Stark was a moron for letting Jaime go. Cat Stark was a moron for kidnapping Tyrion. And so on, and so forth — nearly every decision she made was moronic.

Robb Stark was an idiot for trusting Theon, and he was an idiot for letting his guard down with the Freys. He was an idiot for marrying Talisa. Etc, so on, so forth.

Bran Stark is an idiot for climbing that tower and also getting caught.

Rickon Stark is probably an idiot just by genetics.

Sansa Stark has been stupidly naive the entire time, and she was stupidly loyal to the Lannister/Baratheon clan over her own blood.

Arya is an idiot for letting her guard down two weeks ago while in a city full of faceless assassins that might kill her at any moment.

Also, it is established that Jon Snow knows nothing. But his trusting nature after bringing the Wildlings south, and his general idiocy this season, earns him a moron award.

House Lannister Morons: Where to start?

Cersei is easily the biggest idiot on the show still living. She gave the Faith Militant power for petty revenge on Margery. She let her hate for Tyrion lead to his trial by combat. When Oberyn died, so did Myrcella — it just took some time. That’s all her fault. She let Joffrey become a spoiled retard and kill Ned Stark. She never, at any point, took control over the kids she herself raised. She may end up causing more deaths than Ned did.

Jaime is an idiot for being manipulated by his twin sister.

Tyrion is a damned retard for trusting the slavers. He’s also stupid for being so sure of his ideas — which have often turned around on him in spectacularly bad ways.

Tywin was moronic to go through with trying his own son out of spite. Also, his general treatment of Tyrion and Cersei. And his hubris in the war and alliance with the Freys. That chicken will eventually come home to roost.

House Tyrell Idiots

Margery picked a fight with Cersei to be petty. She was rude to her about her age and her looks, and her lack of power. That was a grave mistake and it may well have cost her and her brother their lives. She gained nothing by doing it. It was foolish. Her current manipulations of Tommen may well be a temporary gain — it could turn to ashes on her as well.

Loras hasn’t been on the show much, but his choice of lovers has gotten him in hot water twice now.

Mace is stupid but in a harmless way.

Olenna Tyrell is the wisest idiot in the land. Killing Joffrey was a smooth move, but she ought to have made sure Cersei got a taste of that stuff at some point since. Cersei drinks wine like they’ve stopped making it. The opportunity is there.


He’s either going to come out on top or tortured to death. Giving Sansa to Ramsay was really dumb and so far has not paid out. Pending.

House Frey

Walder is the only one with any real screen time. He’s an arrogant old cuss who has broken the guest right — that sort of treachery will catch up to him. Pending.

House Greyjoy

Theon has largely paid for his crimes, but he’s a super idiot. He let his desire to please a mean old cunt push him to betray his oldest friend. And the men old cunt sent him to live with that friend because the mean old cunt couldn’t win a war. Theon trusted the hell out of the Iron Island people far too much. It cost him his dick and sanity. He should have stayed with Robb.

Yara has yet to do anything truly stupid, other than not being able to kill some fucking dogs to save her brother.

Urine Greyjoy is just bugnuts. Pending.

House Martell

The Red Viper let his ego and anger get him killed. That also cost the lives of his brother and nephew in a roundabout way. He also got his eyes and head mushed in as he died, so that’s pretty gruesome. It cost him the chance for true revenge.

Elia and the Sand Snakes gained nothing other than satisfaction when they killed Myrcella. It may have cost the people of Dorne greatly.

House Glover

The new Olly. Fuck House Glover. I hope a White Walker buttfucks that guy.

House Targaryen

Dany has gathered a huge army but didn’t think to have some basic security. She’s let too many of her enemies live out of mercy, yet at the same time, too often has she been unnecessarily cruel. Consistency is key — by being inconsistent she has appeared bananas. Remember what the man said: If violence is to be done to a man it should be severe enough that his vengeance is not feared. She’s left way too many people alive that hate her.

Also, she trusted that witch.

House Martin

This dude has been writing this book series for around twenty-five years now. Other people have written much faster, and also much better. Part of the problem I think is his insistence on subverting tropes and fantasy endings. He wants everything to be unexpected and twisted and by doing that he has denied himself any solid ground and it has become increasingly difficult to find places to take the plot and get to his goal.

Also, damn if it isn’t a bit too brutal.