Game of Swerves

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More Spoilers Here

I won’t start the post with the “I called it” but I will say they handled everything a lot better in this episode than the last. Instead of going over each scene the way I did last week, I’ll hit a few points and then cover what I think may happen based on that point. These are presented in no specific order of preference, though I will start outside Westeros proper.

Arya

Thank God we got a brief Arya scene that was mostly dominated by my favorite two happenings: Jaqen Hagar and someone beating some sense into Arya. This scene was brief, and the temptation scene reminded me of Earthbound from the SNES — only in reverse. (Those who played the game through will remember the scene where one character meditates and the spirit of his ancestor slowly takes away his body and mind.)

Going forward I expect more training, though if she’s going to have much impact the pace will need to pick up. Few of her original list still live.

Tyrion

We didn’t see Dany at all in this episode. Tyrion did a lot of stupid things and made himself seem more like a Targaryen — talking of his love of dragons — than I would have expected without a straight up reveal. I still think he is a Targaryen. Nothing done here resolved anything with regards to Dany’s status or the actual political situation — other than the mere cool factor, it was a wasted few minutes.

Going forward, I expect Tyrion to consolidate power a bit in the name of Dany, and Varys to remain Varys. The other characters might as well not have been there.

Greyjoy

Ah, Balon, how we didn’t miss you and won’t going forward. I’m not really sure I care about his brother, either. Theon’s sister is the only one that showed even the slightest bit of compassion for her brother — despite their re-introduction earlier on in the show — but she has a hot temper like all the other Greyjoys (and most other characters on the show).

No idea what will happen going forward as they’ve diverged from the books a great deal and this is one of the least interesting stories.

Dorne

Haha just kidding.

King’s Landing

Ser Robert Strong is far more compelling of a character than he was when he was the Mountain. The latter was a disgusting monster. This one appears to just be a robot, a loyal golem. I’m not sure if he’s rotting under that armor or not. Nobody seems to think he smells, yet. How messed up is it that seeing him mash that nasty little dweeb’s head in was only the second best death by wall in the episode?

Cersei remains and grows more sympathetic, but being barred from the funeral is a bit over the top. Jaime grows more interesting and ballsy the longer he’s apart from Tywin, and the more he has to deal with. I really wanted to see him remove the High Sparrow’s head. Tommen is kind of blank right now.

Going forward, we know there is going to be a confrontation between the Lannisters and the Sparrows. There are indeed a lot of Sparrows, but the King’s Guard, Strong, and Jaime is a damn formidable force against a bunch of unarmed religious nuts.

The North

I’m not sure what we’re supposed to get from the Bran flashback. It was neat seeing them, and it presents Hodor as a lot older than I originally thought he was. It also makes me wonder if the word “Hodor” has some significance, given the name of Episode 5 is rumored to be “The Door.” Perhaps we will get an answer to who Jon’s parents are this season, through von Sydow.

Speaking of bastards formerly known as Snow. Ramsay is the devil. I knew the moment the announcement of a male sibling that he’d kill the child somehow, someway — then when he killed Roose I assumed he’d just stop there, having prevented his father from changing his status to reflect the true born son. But no. That’s too easy.

Speaking of bastards, Thorne is still the number one prick on the show not named Ramsay. I wasn’t sure how Davos and company were going to get out of trouble — I was unaware Edd had sneaked out, somehow. I figured the Red Woman was going to rain fire down on the pricks. Speaking of — who shoots a giant in the shoulder, through layers of clothes and possibly armor? THAT was the number one wall death in the episode. Further, is that the only remaining giant?

I have a feeling Theon won’t get back to the Iron Islands. I also have a feeling Sansa won’t get to the Wall.

When the Red Woman started saying the words, I was certain they wouldn’t work because she didn’t expect them to. When she said please, I thought they’d go with a cheesy “her tear brings him back” (they have had a touch of the fairy tale lately). Then when she gave up, I thought maybe Davos might repeat what she said, and they’d take him from us to give us Jon back. Somehow, all my thoughts were proven wrong when, all alone, Jon sat up with a gasp. In my head, I thought, “credits roll” and they did — so I was right at the end.

I was also correct — an episode or two out. With mere moments left they brought Jon back, which puts them right between “an episode or two.”

Going forward:

– There is no way Thorne survives the next episode unless Jon has lost his damn mind while dead. Unless he makes some sort of compromise deal: “I died, I’m not in the Watch anymore. Have fun.” Then he goes “South” and faces off against Ramsay.

This actually would be quite exciting AND it would present a new set of trouble for King’s Landing. Assuming the prophecy all comes true, Cersei is due to see Tommen die by season’s end or so. Perhaps at the hands of the Sparrows she empowered, or perhaps at the hands of the Tyrells she angered.

I wouldn’t be surprised if Jaime dies before Cersei, though her death would certainly make him into an even more tortured soul — he’d only have his (“half” in my opinion) brother who he swore to kill. What does he do then?

I suspect he’d end up alongside Brienne somehow — not romantically, of course. But he seemed to admire her and with nobody else to cling to, he might work with her. But this is getting way ahead of our position.

I’m not sure which houses would unite behind Jon, but I’d put some money on Mormont. I do not know how much of Stannis’ support he could swing. Jon should be careful — he could end up the third husband of Margery Tyrell.

– Arya is supposed to be giving up everything she is, yet, she’s doing all of this to get revenge on those she hates. Eventually she’s going to have to let go of one of these things, because they’re mutually incompatible. Unless a girl is allowed to get revenge as a recruiting pledge.

– I really don’t want to see Dany and Jon together, but that really seems like a direction they may go.

– We got no news from Dorne.

– We got no news from Littlefinger.

– The “gift” for Ramsay may well be that someone found Theon, or Sansa, which would really suck for those characters.

– In the preview there’s a man saying, “This ends” or something, to a guy in a Kingsguard helmet. I think this is a Bran (or Jon, using his deadness as a way to give him insight) flashback of when Ned and Robert attempted to rescue Lyanna. At first glance I thought one of them was Sean Bean, but he is not — still, the resemblance is there, were this supposed to be a younger Ned. And the man next to him is bearded and black of hair.

If this is the case, we may finally get an answer to whether or not R+L=J.

Also, maybe this is too much to ask. But can we get some dead Freys up in this bitch? The Red Wedding was during Season 3.