Game of Thrones: Chicken Dance

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I came here to eat chicken and kill cunts, and I’m all out of chickens.

Earlier I did every episode in order from least to most favorite. That won’t work this week — there are too many scenes I liked. Best episode of the season so far over all. Good thing, since last week was mostly underwhelming.

— THE HOUND! The character is(was?) a murderer without shame but he grew a great deal carrying around Arya for the better part of her journey. His return is welcome given the general lack of characters growing this season. However, the scenes this week give me pause:

– Why the hell are the Brotherhood without Banners now behaving like lunatic, killing unarmed peaceniks? That is a far cry from where we last saw them.

– Why did getting his ass beat by Brienne temporarily peacenik up Sandor Clegane? He wasn’t undefeated before that, he’d had his ass kicked.

— “Arya” got shivved and escaped. I’m not totally convinced that was actually Arya for a variety of reasons. If it was then she’s extremely stupid for being unaware after Jaqen told her straight up it was her or the actress. Still, the direction this tale is going is much more interesting.

— Olenna telling Cersei off was the best part of King’s Landing in recent memory. Cersei and Cat Stark basically pushed forward with stupid ideas that wrecked the lives of their kids — I’m not sure what GRRM has against mothers. Cersei created the weapon of her own destruction. That said, I also enjoyed Margery handing off the flower drawing to let her grandmother know she was not drinking the koolaid.

— The recruitment drive was interesting. I like that House Mormont has honor even if the super powered little girl thing is really wearing thin on this show. Sure, Lyanna Mormont doesn’t have super powers but it’s really hard to imagine that there’s not an adult in charge somewhere in this castle. Further, Tormund speaking out for Jon — “He died for us. If we won’t do the same, then we deserve to be the last freefolk.” — was spot-on.

— Yara is pretty cruel, but in this case it actually fits. Those Iron Islands folks are awful to one another. And the tough love seems to have helped Theon a bit.

— Bronn! Although, I want to root for the Blackfish. I don’t see the Blackfish holding off Jaime, Bronn, and those armies. Though he could deflect some of the attacks with the massive balls it takes to be that guy.

Now, for speculation:

— Sansa is writing a letter to Littlefinger. She seeks the Knights of the Vale to help — Littlefinger can’t refuse, of course. I’m not entirely sure how big an army that is but it’d certainly help. I think the Stark forces are outnumbered 2:1 or so.

— I still think Jaqen is testing Arya. It makes no sense to promise her the killing of everyone on her list and then make her give up who she is. (Bonus: Turns out Jaqen was also Syrio, the water dancer.) Also, the Waif clearly has a personal dislike for Arya — which isn’t “no one” behavior.

— With Olenna leaving the capital, Cersei is really in a bind. The preview shows her having some issue with the Sparrows, which may be caused by her general lack of good sense. I think at some point she’s getting Tommen killed because she’s playing with fire here.

— Davos is still awfully calm about the dead princess.

— Brienne would destroy a one-handed Jaime in a fight. Jaime nearly lost to Ned Stark with both arms in the first season. Brienne nearly killed the Hound. I don’t think it’ll come to that, but I think her getting in the boat in the preview has something to do with the battle.

— Either Margery or Sansa is pregnant, but not both.

— Yara and Theon’s plan is not going to end well.

— Urine Greyjoy is not going to last long, though.

— House Glover is going to get buttfucked.

— Jon is going to have to start calling himself Stark or something to get respect. Or just be a big swinging dick. Maybe Tormund can give him lessons.