Hardboiled Fucking

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Go from her curiosity to her attention

There are bound to be erotica novels in the hardboiled genre, and there are film noir movies that have explicit scenes. It lends itself well to that given the stark and blunt way the genres treat humanity and our emotions, especially sex. You can see in movies, even those produced during the Hays Code days, a harsh treatment of the relationship between men and women. It’s brutally honest in a few ways and horribly (or hilariously depending on quality) misguided in others. But the portrayal is realistic even if the people aren’t. Men could perhaps better their relationships by taking some of the more positive aspects of the hardboiled sexual dynamic to heart.

Hardboiled fiction, more than any other genre, fits the mindset of the alternative right. Between the hardboiled and the Southern Gothic you have a harsh, stark, unrepentant look at humanity and how we interact. Even when looking at us at our worst the genres don’t judge — except for the antagonist, who must be judged — but rather show the faults in the characters. Even the protagonist and his love interest in hardboiled fiction are extremely flawed characters. The love interest is often a femme fatale: a snake poised to strike but wearing a nice dress.

The interaction between the gruff hero and his woman can be romantic and friendly but implies a powerful sex life. She gets tied up, her hair gets pulled, her ass gets spanked. One could simply write hardboiled novels with explicit sex scenes and garner the same audience as the pseudo-BDSM erotica market. Because of the more realistic treatment of female sexuality — even going back to the Roaring Twenties — the idea of kinky sex is no stranger in hardboiled fiction.

Our female leads are never portrayed as virginal and innocent. That is left to fantasy novels (which I also write) and soft romance. The female lead is a woman, not a girl, and she’s seen the rougher side of humanity — it gives her a depth often missing in highly romanticized love stories. Because she’s seen it all she knows what she wants — and that’s the tough, plain spoken protagonist that gets things done.

She’s looking for a man who will deliver and not a loser. This sounds a great deal like the current state of affairs for the western woman: the popularity of books like 50 Shades and other pseudo-BDSM fare, the number of women interested in things like spanking, choking, et cetera — these are women who know what they want.

The appeal of the hardboiled Detective hits on a few nerves for men that go back further than detectives or novels. The man is world-wise, he’s seen the underbelly of humanity. He’s risen above it or is in the process of it, and he’s fighting long odds. Often his life hangs in the balance, or the life of someone he cares for. He’s heroic, but unlike the knight in shining armor, he’s deeply bitter about aspects of humanity. He’s woke, he’s based — whatever slang term you want to use. He’s aware.

Spoiler Alert and Background

In the Maltese Falcon, Spade is a skeptical private detective with a so-so relationship with the police and a partner that he seems to tolerate. But, despite that outward tolerance, he’s fucking the guy’s wife. That is a deep betrayal of a man close to him, a man he says he must do something about the murder of — and from the wife, that is a hell of a thing as well. It’s not just any man giving her what her husband doesn’t, it’s his own partner.

In the course of the story, Spade falls for another woman — he has little to no use for the cheating spouse of his dead partner. He wasn’t with her out of love, it was convenient sex. But Spade is the hero of the story, he’s the guy we’re rooting for. This was made into a movie over seventy years ago! They couldn’t even say the word “shit” but were able to reference the tawdry affair.

Even in the old hardboiled detective radio shows the protagonist is implied to have almost a woman of the week. If the woman survives the episode and isn’t in prison they meet for a date, on the beach… out of town. Except Richard Diamond who never seems to even get any from the recurring girlfriend character — the price of being “the singing detective.”

Infidelity is a common theme in hardboiled novels and film noir, by characters we are meant to like and dislike. The bad guy is cheating on his wife, the femme fatale, and the hero wants her — so he takes down the bad guy. Or the femme fatale is cheating on her husband, who shows up dead… either way, a lot of plots are driven by human sexual desire.

The traditional male lead, the hero, is always investigating something and he has a defined relationship with the law: he’s either an amateur, in which he’s thwarted at every turn, or he’s a private detective, in which he’s interfering and threatened at every turn, or he’s a police detective, in which case he often faces some scrutiny from the powers that be. But through all of this that is thrown in his way he remains steadfastly dedicated to the case even if everything else in his life is falling apart. He’s smart and strong, he’s capable, and he’s squaring off against the world. It is a very similar scheme, overall, to the young adult snowflake girl we see a lot of today: she’s special, the world and government are against her, but she stays dedicated despite immense personal cost. This sort of thing appeals to us from deep in our souls.

The typical female lead, be she a femme fatale or not, is always a beautiful woman: she wears a slinky dress and heels, she’s got long legs, dangerous curves, the hair, and the look. She’s intelligent, even if she finds herself in a jam, and often manipulates the hero toward her own purpose. But whether she is good or bad it is heavily implied she is sexually attracted to the hero or at least uses her own sex appeal to further her goals.

One of the interesting aspects of this treatment of female sexuality is that the woman isn’t portrayed as being either a slut or just a man with a pussy. She is allowed to keep her femininity and retains an air of sophistication. On the surface it seems that the genre is misogynistic but there is a surprising amount of respect and admiration for women within. Women are often able to get the best of men through a tactical advantage, but not portrayed as having the ability to physically over power him: she can, however, pull a gun. “God made man, and God made woman, but Samuel Colt made them equal.”

Fuck like a Detective

Don’t think for a minute that the female protagonist doesn’t want her slinky dress pulled up to her waist while the detective fucks her from behind, pulling her hair and smacking her ass. She knows what she wants and who she wants it from. The protagonist, for all his cynical beliefs, still wants to drill her until she’s googly-eyed. Back then they could even smoke afterward — inside!

Find out what she wants — like a detective — and give her that.

Take away all the bullshit society has thrown our way, take out the bullshit we’ve created in fiction and imagine the raw sexual power of a man and woman. The man is powerful and strong and craves the woman. The woman is feminine and submissive, but also craves the man. They meet in an explosion of passion. Because that’s what is built into our bones.

Give it to her like you’re both on the run and this could be your last chance. Be the caged powerful beast. Explore every last inch of her as though it’s a case you must solve — and dominate that case. Do nothing halfway, take no baby steps. If you’re going to do anything you must do it well — that’s part of being a man, an adult.

The clues are all around you, leading you toward it: hardboiled fucking.

If you like hardboiled fucking, you’ll absolutely love The Boots Are Red, because the chesty, leggy, boot-wearing Audrey Carmen likes hardboiled fucking, too!