I am extremely happy lately. There are blips here and there of things that make me unhappy, but mostly, I’m in a fantastic mood. Moreso outside of work, but hey, that’s one place where I’m forced to be around people who may or may not be damaging my calm.
Mostly this is because I’ve decided to be happy and Fuck. You. All. Not all of you all of you, but anyone who is doing the aforementioned damage to my calm. Whatever, man. I had an episode of extreme happiness wrecked silly last week and after I dusted myself off and composed myself I decided: No, fuck that, I’m not going to let this interfere with my plans. I’m going to do what I intend to do and I’m not going to turn into a little bitch and cry because someone else has an attitude problem. I don’t even directly know the person in question — their influence is through someone else. Forget about that mess.
I need to get organized. It’s day three of NNWM and I’m without a clue as to what I intend to write about. But not being organized isn’t the worst sin in the world. I will fuck up far more than this in life (and already have) so onward and upward I march.
Over the last few months I’d chipped away at the outside sources I spend my time reading. There are very few and most of them are linked on the sidebar. Even people and writers I genuinely enjoy I’ve kind of stepped away from because they’re usually kind of downers. Meh. No thanks.
The biggest relief in my life has been deciding to do what I want to do. That has always been when I’ve been at my most happy; when I blew off college for three years just to write (none of it was worth a damn but it was the building block upon which everything else has come from). When my wife and I got together (which came with a lot of fun adversity). When I got married, moved, graduated college, and started a new full time job all in the same thirty day period. And. Didn’t. Blink. I was motivated and I was happy and it was a positive feedback loop. I could do anything.
Somewhere along the way I lost all of that mojo. Well, it’s my damn mojo, and I’ll take it back now. Thanks.