Instapundit linked to this bit of opinion spewed about a reddit post. That’s right, I’m going to comment on her comments on a reddit post, because it’ll give me something to do between car shopping that isn’t mind-numbingly annoying.
First, I’d like to lodge the complaint that complaining about men’s opinions in this way has to at least be as bad as “mansplaining.” Especially given the difference in platform of “some reddit comments” versus “a moderately well known blog.” I’m giving this blog some credit since I’m not sure I’ve ever heard of it before but it’s a big internet and not just anyone gets a link from Instapundit.
Translation: “be confident, say what you want, it’s a good thing.” Of course, the idea that you should be confident to be sexy to men isn’t great
All my life from adolescence forward I have been told “be confident, say what you want, it’s a good thing.” 99.999% of all advice given to men is “be confident and be yourself”. I’m not complaining, as a guy, about being told that. Confidence is great, even if you have to fake it at first (or all the time), because confidence is good for you. I just find it highly ironic that “it’s not great” when the shoe is on the other foot. Yes, she softens it in the next portion of the sentence, that just jumped out at me as the most amazingly tone-deaf thing I’ve seen all day. And I watched CNN this morning.
I think the most helpful part about this one is to remember that if your male partner is upset, it’s probably not about you.
I’m actually highlighting this to agree with it 100%. The world is an ass sometimes. We have jobs — and coworkers who can ruin a day whether on accident or intentionally. Sometimes jobs suck — and that’s why we have to be paid to do them. I don’t know what job stress is like for a woman because I’ve never been one, but as a man I can say the stress of a job can really take us down emotionally. We just don’t show it because — why? It won’t change the fact work sucks.
Sometimes our commute sucks. Someone does something that pisses us off, or someone does something that scares the shit out of us because they were texting and we got that adrenaline kick that makes us feel fucking intense for about a minute before we emotionally crash. That’s no good.
That’s just two examples of totally possible, regular emotional pitfalls that can have nothing to do with anyone we’re around. And they can play in our heads for a while if we’re not careful.
There is also a tinge of “give me more blow jobs to be sexy to me,” which is not great
Ok, depending on the delivery that could be pretty awkward, but “doing something sexual I like is going to be sexy to me” should be pretty obvious. Apparently “not great” is the new “problematic” and will be used to dismiss anything men say that women might not like. That’s not great.
Very next response she has:
I like the idea here (“women, don’t be ashamed to want and like sex”), but the delivery isn’t great.
Isn’t being a contraction of “is not great.”
This is important to remember—your male friends and partners also want to be told that they look nice sometimes—but it kind of reinforces something that feminists are trying to change: the idea that commenting on someone’s appearance is always a compliment, or that “pretty” is the goal.
You cannot change the fundamental nature of life: nobody wants to be ugly. Even animals have various visual aids to attract mates.
Then again, we did ask for their POV, but damn, does it have to be so objectifying all the time?
This is in response to, “even if you gained weight we want to see you naked.” Men are visual creatures — fundamental law of nature. Complaining about objectifying is stupid — it’d be like if men complained “why does it have to be so humor-ifying all the time”? when women said they like men who make them laugh.
No. I hate this. Shave your legs or don’t, ladies, but here’s the thing—someone who actually has a strong opinion on your body hair? Preference? Sure, that’s fine. But requirement, strong opinion, or anything more than just a personal preference? That’s a deal breaker. It’s your body. If he think’s his sexual satisfaction is more important than your desire to keep your body the way you want, that’s a big, big no.
Right back atcha with any preference on beards, back hair, chest hair, stomach hair, height, dick size — etc.
For the next one, I am going to include the original comment in bold italics:
When we look at you for more than a split second, we’re not thinking of furiously smashing you or creeping, it can mean you look great, you have perfect eyes, you look good in what your wearing, your hair is looking great, that smile! It’s a visual compliment. Or occasionally it’s the smashing, but more often than not, you look great. Not really NSFW. Just saying.
Do not tell me how to interpret your looks. If I am creeped out by something about you, it’s something about you.
Not necessarily. Sometimes you’re internalizing some weird shit from a Reddit post (not a website in the mainstream), or you’re internalizing all sorts of the strange stuff spread through this article and many others like it, and you’re looking at me all weird when I’m just trying to get the damn hot sauce that you’ve parked your cart in front of, or I’ve noticed you because you’ve done something incredibly stupid or inconveniencing to those of us around you, or you’re wearing something weird that may or may not have feathers on it, or you look like a hobo.
Not everyone who looks at you wants you, some of us are just noticing the weird people around us — and if more than a few guys a year genuinely creep you out, the problem is you, motherfucker. Especially if you think I’m eying your hairy (apparently) self up when I’m out picking up something with the kids for school.
I notice and look at everyone around me. It’s just a habit. I do not want to screw or creep on them just because I look at them. I understand that some (very small minority) of men hurt women, but you also have to understand how fucking offensive it is to lump us all together. It’s really not great — in fact it’s quite problematic.