The problem with Jeb!

Every cycle there is at least one candidate running that inspires me to say something insane about resurrecting dead tyrants and running them instead because at least the dead tyrants are honest about who they are… well, this year there’s more than a normal share of that sort of insanity. Further, there’s a lot of candidates running that make my teeth itch. These candidates come across as dishonest, they have the slime that earthworms leave behind running through their veins. They’re pretty much why we hate politicians.

Enter Jeb Bush

To start with, what is there to like about this guy?

Really, what does he offer? He’s been the governor of Florida. Okay. That’s a state with it’s own Fark tag. But what sort of accomplishment is that when his family pretty much bought that? Being a governor isn’t an automatic qualification for the presidency — we have fifty of those at a time, and I’d say that easily 50 of them need some other qualification to their names other than “I got elected.”

Coming from the family he does he should come in at a serious disadvantage with most people. For one his family is ingrained in the party, and has been for decades. There’s no accomplishment to being in with the establishment. You either are or you aren’t and you can’t really earn that. Also, being the establishment’s chosen one is almost always a kiss of death: McCain in ’08, Romney in ’12, Dole in ’96. All these dudes were the choice of the elite. Running because it’s your turn is generally a losing message: Gore in ’00, Kerry in ’04, Mondale in ’84. These candidates were weak.

Reagan won in ’80 because he was inspiring and he seemed to be fighting everyone to get to where he was. Reagan wasn’t the first choice of the elite. People had snarky things to say about him, they dismissed him as just an actor, and so on and so forth. Clinton was just some young governor, but he brought an energy to the table, he was more likable than Bush I, and he was certainly more personable than Dole. Both times Obama ran he was up against someone who seemed to be stiff at best.

Also, Jeb is a pantywaist, a fop, a milquetoast. Take your choice of terms for lily-livered and weak. He’s just kind of a blob of wuss. He comes across as someone who has been handed everything, as someone who gets to run because it’s his turn: Poppy got it, Dubya got it, now it’s for Jeb. The presidency isn’t some trophy, it’s not a relay race between a few rich families. As much of a tragedy as what happened to the Kennedy’s was, it at least delayed the nobility from forming.

This sort of accusation could be leveled at a few other candidates on both sides, but when we know you’re going to run near a decade before the first primary… it’s just ridiculous. It’s disappointing. It’s a huge let down.

But it’s even worse when you’re a popinjay with no real substance and no accomplishments to call your own. The man doesn’t even own a gun, which is just… even if you don’t hunt or if you have armed security… it just comes across as a multiplier for his big ol’ wuss factor. In addition, he has so many squishy moderate opinions and positions that he just comes across as an invertebrate. When the only policy position that I can think of offhand is the stupid “Act of love” quote, and he was the crown prince of the party with a huge lead up to establish himself? Yikes.

You can’t be a super timid amorphous blob with nothing to your credit.