And let me start with why Nice Guys is in quotes: I’ve been on the internet a long time and a lot of so-called nice guys aren’t. They’re weird borderline aspeger’s types who feel entitled. You aren’t entitled. I won’t go as far as the Nice Guys of OKCupid thing in crucifying them, but it’s pretty clear that women aren’t interested. What do women want?
Guys they’re attracted to. Shock, awe: Women are people who have their own attractions. Sometimes they go through phases where they make bad decisions, but for most, this is during adolescence, when many people make bad decisions. Think back, as a teenager, did you ever make a mistake? A big mistake? If you said no, you are a liar.
Stop being a “nice guy” and be interesting. Playing video games all day isn’t interesting. Defending women on the internet in the hopes of winning one over isn’t interesting. There’s lots of guys that do that. Scarcity is value. You know why women don’t like dick pictures the way men like boob pictures? It’s pretty easy to get a guy to whip it out and much more difficult to get a woman to. Sure, there are women who will flash at the drop of a hat — but they become less interesting. The same thing works in the relationship world.
As a species we tend toward 50-50 as far as birth rates go. I think, by percentage, there are more homosexual men than homosexual women (but not by weight), which ups the male odds. The problem is that so many men have turned into boring losers that they disqualify themselves from the market. I also see a lot of guys who are clearly obese aiming for women who are not (and vice-versa); it rarely works that way unless you bring something to the table.
Think for a minute about the girl you are currently (in your mind) pursuing. Why her? Because she is someone you desire. Why should she desire you?
This doesn’t just apply to romantic relationships. In any relationship, be it romantic, friendship, or business, you have to bring something with you. No woman wants a useless guy any more than men want totally helpless woman-child who can’t do anything for herself. Men are typically structured to want to help, and a lot of men want to be Captain Save-a-Ho (or Sir Save-a-Ho in the case of the White Knight), so there’s more room for a woman to be needy because part of our brain is wired to want to be needed. But eventually you need someone who can spend five minutes alone without breaking something.
Think about your friends. They all provide you with something: usually, friendship, but often times there’s more to a friendship than just being friends. They’re your unofficial adviser, your shoulder to cry on, the one who is there through all the trials you face. They offer friendship and a history. You also offer them something (hopefully).
Only in this world of inflated self-esteem is “well she should want me because I’m me” an outlook anyone would accept. No. “Just be yourself” is a load of horeshit. Just be interesting, be useful (but don’t be a whiny helicopter around a woman who is not interested in you). You have to have something that creates that attraction. We’ve made subcultures into some sort of currency and a lot of people think that because they like something unusual and quirky, well, that makes them unique and therefore they have more quirky subculture currency. That doesn’t work.
Look, I’m into Linux, I like to write, I’m a sci-fi and fantasy kind of guy*, I like guns, et cetera, ad nauseum. I’m also polite to most people, almost all of the time — this does not make me unique. Liking something doesn’t define you, it doesn’t create a whole person. The previous description could be applied to a lot of men in my age bracket. No, it’s my unique life and personality that makes me who I am.
I went through a bit of a “nice guy” frustrated phase, where I couldn’t understand why women I liked didn’t like me. Looking back I can see how I was wasting my time (and in many cases being used). I get it. But nice isn’t a currency. You can’t buy pussy with nice.
“That girl just likes assholes.”
Probably not. In a lot of cases, if you examined the guy, you might see that he’s not an asshole at all — you’re just biased because the woman you are lusting after is riding him. Maybe he is even a loser. Or maybe he just doesn’t give a shit about the things you do. Maybe he’s not nice to YOU because he sees the way you admire her cleavage. None of this excuses women taking advantage of stupid guys, but seriously — examine yourself. If you have to tell people you are nice, I doubt you are. Same thing applies to people on the internet obsessing over the dick-size of people they don’t like: project much?
To close, saying that you are a “nice guy” is the romantic equivalent of saying, “I can’t be racist — I have black friends.”
You “Nice Guys” are like store brand pop-tarts. You dress yourselves up with a Nice Guy name, but you’re the discount Nice Guy that people bypass unless times are tight.
Most of the above also applies in reverse.