The best solution to this? Close your mouth.
When someone tells you, for example, that X doesn’t matter — whatever it is, be it looks or money — look at their actions, not their words. If it’s coming from someone in the top ten percent of rich or attractive people: Stop eating their bullshit. If they’re also in the bottom percent, but they’re constantly miserable due to their lack of X — stop eating their bullshit. People will tell you more by their behavior and mood than their words.
There’s been an upswing in mood disorders and depression in the last few decades. A lot of that can probably be attributed to people who are sold a bill of goods that is mostly bullshit. They’re promised things that aren’t going to happen. “You’re an individual snow flake. Be yourself and you will have success and (whichever gender you want)!” No, that’s not true. But guess what? Sitting around lamenting the fact you were lied to does you the same amount of good as persisting in the false belief will. Stop.
Stop whining about how the bullshit tastes. You were fooled. Bitching about it will not serve you at all.
One of my goals is to not whine about anything. I might complain or call people out on their bullshit. If I pay a place for a service or item and it is defective in some way, I will make myself known because there is a difference between having a backbone to use when standing up for yourself, and just being a whiny bitch about it. If I order a steak and someone brings me soup from a can, I’m not just going to take it — and if they give me crap about it, I’m going to warn others. Not out of a sense of whining entitlement, but to let them know: That restaurant sucks, man. But I won’t be going on social media to complain and look for sympathy. That sympathy means exactly nothing in the real world.
Sending someone a sympathetic message costs nothing but some time. There aren’t even many words to express how you feel sorry for someone.
I was writing for years before I self-published. I tried the waiting game with a traditional publishing house exactly once before I saw the success people were having with the Kindle sales. Now, I could have kept playing the waiting game and maybe, maybe gotten a contract for some books and waited even longer for them to get out there. Maybe gotten some more sales than I have so far (but less of the money), and had a lot less control to boot. Maybe. But that’s a lot of waiting. I don’t like waiting. Waiting is the opposite of acting. Instead, I acted.
Act. Don’t sit there and eat bullshit. Don’t keep listening to people who are lying to you, either to suit an agenda or because they want you to feel better. Get up and do something.